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I'm still alive...

September 6th, 2009 (10:04 pm)

Yeah.. long time, no see, right? I actually logged on to go through the archives to verify the month when something happened a few years ago. Unfortunately, it seems that I never posted about it... so I'm still not sure exactly when this thing happened. Not that any of it matters to you. Anyway... While I was on and lurking about.. I thought I'd say hello to the 4 or 5 friends still active on here.

*waves hello*

August 30th, 2008 (10:22 pm)
worried

current mood: worried
current song: Peace and quiet...

Long time, no update. Truth is... my life hasn't been very exciting lately. Or.. well... there's been a lot that's happened, but nothing that I really wanted to express on here at the time, because it just seemed like the same ol' drama.

That and... I must admit... I've been devoting more of my time to myspace. Now, before you start 'booing' me, allow me to continue. I have more... interaction on Myspace than I do here. Most of my myspace friends are people I know well and see often. Most of you all... I've never even met. Nothing personal... just... as my friends here began abandoning LJ... I started to feel a little abandoned too. Not in a egocentric kinda way, just at times it feels as if I'm talking to, well, empty cyberspace. Not that I write merely for your entertainment, sometimes it's good to just write for the sake of expression.

Then, eventually, I would start an update, only to erase or make it private, because I couldn't effectively communicate what I wanted to say. Even now it feels difficult to express what I want to say. That, or I began to write much more seriously about this topic or another while forsaking the every day events that seem so mundane. Lately it just seems to be the same old story with my life... and who wants to read a re-run??

But then, LJ offers something that Myspace doesn't. It gives you the ability to express yourself fully and completely... and know that your friends list probably won't be diminished as a result. Granted, I may not know most of you personally.. but you've kept me around for a reason too. Sure, myspace offers a blog where people can give you kudos or whatever... and it may be read 10 times more than this will ever be. But it doesn't give you that, unpretentious outlet to just... be honest with one another... and yourself for that matter.

So.... perhaps I'll try to keep this thing updated once again. I can't promise you anything very new and exciting... but at least it'll be honest and introspective.

I always thought I would end up with you eventually...

June 8th, 2008 (10:39 pm)
pensive

current mood: pensive
current song: The Kooks, Always Where I Need To Be

It's funny sometimes how dreams don't mince words. They tear into your soul and put on a cruel theatrical production of your innermost thoughts and psyche. If that's not bad enough, they then make you the star in your own torture... like some kinda tragic hero. And it's all done when you are at your most vulnerable condition. In our conscious, waking life... we can suppress childish, fearful, or flighty ideas and so on. But in your dreams, it's just you and your emotions. You're completely free to be at one with yourself.

Do whatever comes naturally to you

Last night. I was lying in peaceful slumber... when one neuron most surely said to another, "Hey, watch this!" My mind began to play back images of someone I've had a crush on for years. This was certainly more sadistic than anything that is possible in reality, because you see, it'll never be. But oh what a dream it was.... right down to the steamy shower scene.

I'm a man I can be so obscene

That's when the lucidity began to take over, and I realized this was a dream... and I savoured every moment of our passion before the dawn came and took it away. When I awoke, I clung to those vivid but fleeting images. Then, I sighed. Part of me felt compelled to tell this person exactly how I feel, once and for all. Then another part of me said to get a grip on.. reality. This was no longer a dream. Yet, over this dueling chaos in my head, my mind was playing a rhythmic "doo doo doo doo" of a familiar song. Talk about pouring salt onto an open wound.

Because I always think that I know how to be

For a second, I just wanted to cry. Then I realized just how foolish I was being. I'm 27 years old... not some twitterpated teenager. It's time for me to put those teenage hopes behind me. But then my mind goes back to that time, as teenagers, when we almost kissed. Maybe that's what bothers me so much. So close.. so close.. and now only awkward hellos and even more awkward goodbyes which begs the question, is it really unrequited? I always thought you were the one who was more afraid to ask than I was.

But I always thought I would end up with you eventually

Twister!

May 5th, 2008 (07:39 pm)
relaxed

current mood: relaxed
current song: T.V.

So we had a tornado Friday night.

We were under a tornado watch all evening. I'd been keeping an eye on the weather channel... but mostly it was just severe storms... but nothing tornadic. Then around midnight, right when I was getting ready for bed, the warning went off, and the sirens in town started to wail. I turned the TV to the local news... and it looked like the rotation in the storm was going to pass just south of town. I called my mom to let her know.. just in case things got really bad. That's when the direction of the storm changed, and it was now headed right toward where I live.

I kept checking outside, just to get a sense of the storm. About five minutes later, the air just got really eery feeling... and it grew much, much darker. Then the lights started to flicker. I told my mom that it was about to get bad, and I was going to take cover. She goes, "Well do you want to stay on the line with me???" (Sure, so you can witness over the phone me getting sucked away into oblivion.) And I told her no... just for that reason... and so I'd have both hands free to cover myself or whatever.

I grabbed the flashlight, radio, pillow, etc. and got into a closet,. I've been through bad storms before... and while I take them seriously... I don't *really* expect the worst either. Within a minute... I could hear a roaring sound off in the distance. At first I thought it was thunder... but it was continuous... and getting louder and closer. That's when it hit me that this was the real thing. As the roaring got closer... I said a little prayer and just thought about there being only one solid wall between me and the unthinkable.

That's when the roaring gradually faded out into the distance, and I gave a sigh of relief. Come to find out... an EF1 tornado had touched down within a mile of my house. There were also three other touchdowns within 10 miles of here... one of which destroyed the pavilion at the Fairgrounds about 3 miles from where I live as you can see in the pic. It also went right through where one of my coworkers lives, and he unabashedly said he was lucky to be alive.

Like I said, I've been through some bad storms before, but I'd never before heard that distinctive and quite unnerving 'roar' of a tornado. And to think it was just an EF1.

Sickness...

April 25th, 2008 (05:40 pm)
current mood: deathly
current song: Band of Horses, Islands on the Coast

I haven't updated in ages, so just wanted to say that I'm still alive. Well... barely. Seems I have a stomach virus from hell. I'll spare you all the details... but yeah... I haven't been this sick in a looong time. Food has been the last thing on my mind... but I need to try and eat *something* today. On that note, one should never watch the Food Network when he/she has a stomach virus. I mean.. I love Paula Deen and all.. but there's only so much butter, mayonnaise, and bacon I can take on a weak stomach.

No, your stupidity is what's traumatizing...

April 13th, 2008 (06:58 pm)
relaxed

current mood: relaxed
current song: T.V.

I'm sure most of you who haven't been hiding out under a rock the past few days have heard about the ranch in Texas that was raided by the police after they received reports about polygamy, child rape, incest, etc. Well, this article on yahoo today just takes the cake. Apparently a few of the mothers are appalled at how the government is reacting.. saying their children are being subjected to uncomfortable and personal examinations, confinement, and questioning. I suppose a group of 16 year olds being forced to marry a 50 year old creep isn't any of that.


The exposure to these conditions is traumatizing them.


On a somewhat related note... I was thinking awhile back about extreme moments of social-injustice in some countries' histories. The Holocaust probably stands out most... and I've never been able to comprehend how such horrible actions could ever be justified in people's minds. I'm not saying that all Germans lacked any conscience either. Afterall, when it really comes down to your life or a stranger's... most of us wouldn't be so selfless. Still... I'm amazed at how such horrible acts have been justified over the years.

Then I think about our own country. Good ol' U.S. of Atrocity. Our 400 year history is full of genocide, banishment, witch trials, slavery, racial discrimination, politically motivated invasions, and, well, wacko cults just to name a few. Yet... almost every instance is somehow 'justified' by religion. I mean nothing against religion... just pointing out the obvious irony. It just seems that, even with our GPS navigators, iPhones , and high-speed wireless internets... we are still so primitive socially. No wonder many people scoff when we as Americans proclaim freedom and justice for all.


"Of all the tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." -C.S. Lewis

Obama 666

March 30th, 2008 (03:26 pm)
irritated

current mood: irritated
current song: Panic At The Disco, Nine In The Afternoon

I'm not one to really go spouting my political views, but I am becoming increasingly disturbed over all this Obama the Antichrist rhetoric.

I have read email after email... blog after blog... proclaiming that Barack Obama is potentially the "antichrist" referenced to in The Revelation of St. John the Divine... therefore Christians should be extremely wary. Let me just copy part of the latest email I received.

"According to The Book of Revelations the anti-christ is: The anti-christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal....the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, will destroy everything."

Let me just say that The Revelation does NOT say or even imply that at all. Even a charismatic evangelical fundamentalist would be hard-pressed to support those words with anything found in The Revelation or the rest of the Bible for that matter. For one, the Islam religion wasn't even established until half a millennium after The Revelation was written... so how can it make such a direct reference to something that didn't even exist in its time? No, it isn't prophecy... it is false, anti-Christian propaganda... which is, perhaps, the real anti-christ living with us right now.

So I urge all of you "Christians" who are spreading around this and similar flack about Obama, or whomever else for that matter, to use some of your God given discernment and read what the Bible actually says before passing these false and misleading stories on to others. And while you are reading through The Revelation, take special note of chapter 22:18-19.

I am not saying that I'm a Democrat or a Republican... Obama supporter or not. What I want to make clear is if you are such a strong advocate of Christian values, then you of all people should recognize misquotes from the Scripture. The way you respond to these false rumors may be a better reflection of your faith than how you vote on election day.

Sell out to sell out...

March 24th, 2008 (07:59 pm)
silly

current mood: silly
current song: T.V.

Kentucky Fried Chicken testing grilled chicken

Okay... so first they changed their name from Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC. No biggee, right? It's just an abbreviation. Well... I saw it as more as a systematic marketing initiative to drop the 'Kentucky' from the name. As if people associate the fried chicken to coal mining hillbillies with three teeth. Even still.. it's Kentucky fried chicken... not Alabama fried or Jersey Fried or whatever else.

Then about a year ago.. they switched to 'healthier' oil for frying. Ooookay... so maybe their deep fried goodness isn't all that healthy for you. Then again... their namesake doesn't really imply artery party. *sighs* I guess I can sacrifice a little tasty goodness for a few extra days on Terra Firma.

But now... grilled chicken??? What next?!? Their own Jared poster boy?? "I lost 250 lbs. by eating KFC's grilled chicken and hummus in a low-carb, organic, gluten free, vitamin enhanced pita."

My question is... where do you draw the line? When do sales and the insatiable desire to dominate the market start to erode the very essence of your existence? If they start to sell grilled chicken.... then they'll have to change their name to Kentucky Grilled Chicken.. or KGC! And.. and... what if they decide to add hamburgers to the menu too?? Kentucky Grilled... Beef. Or..... KGB!! Communists I tell you... Communists!!!

(Note: This post is purely... well okay.. 50% sarcasm. Afterall, I tend to go to KFC not for their chicken, but for their mashed potatoes and gravy and cole slaw.)

Juicy Juice on my Frosted Flakes...

March 15th, 2008 (10:31 am)
awake

current mood: awake
current song: T.V.

You know it's going to be "one of those days" when you pour a bowl of cereal... go over to the fridge... grab a bottle of juice... and pour it on your cereal.

I'd as soon as take a-beatin'...

March 14th, 2008 (04:56 pm)
current song: T.V.

I've been fighting with the cable company the past few days. I was visiting the folks earlier this week, and when I got home on Wednesday... I had no TV or internet service. I called the 1-888 number thingy... and they were like, do this and this, wait five minutes, stand on your head (okay, I threw that part in) and then call us back if it still isn't working. Well, that didn't work.. so I called them back. They said it sounded like a technician needed to check it out.. but the first 'window' they had open would be Friday morning. And then they had the gall to ask, "Sir.. is between 8 and 12 on Friday morning convenient for you???"

Keep in mind, I took this week off from work.. and it'd be a complete understatement to say that I didn't want to sit around at home with no TV or internet for two days. I told the agent that was completely unacceptable... and demanded they do something about the issue sooner. She goes, "I understand.. let me contact your local office and see if there is an earlier time slot available. Someone from there should call you back shortly." Well... I gave them an hour... and no one ever called back. Then I was like, screw this, I'm driving out to their office."

I was pretty hot by the time I got there. The long customer service line didn't help cool my temper any either. But then this backwoods hick lady walks in and starts talking outloud so everyone in the line could hear her. "My lans!! I swan 'pon my word 'n honor.. this is a-worse 'an th-DEE EEEM VEEEE. How long yaaawl been a-waitin'? My law... I'd as soon as take a-beatin' as tah come out cheer n' wait..." And I swear it was all I could do to keep from turning around and saying, "You're ABOUT to take a beating if you don't shut the hell up!" But... I bit my tongue and just glared at her.

Anyways.. I finally got to a customer service rep, explained the problem, and she told me to go home and try a couple other things and to call her back on her direct line if that didn't work. She goes, "You can only call this number ONE time. Understand?? Any other problems.. you call the 1-888 number! Do NOT give this number to ANYONE." So I go home... tried what she said.. and it still didn't work. I called her back.. and she said, "Hrmm.. sounds like there's a problem with the line outside your house... although we're not showing a neighborhood outage." I asked her if there was any way they could get a technician to my house sooner. She goes, "Well.. not if there's not an area wide problem. You can call the 1-888 number back and sometimes they can pull some strings that we can't do here."

I called them back... talked to one of the managers and she said, "Well.. I'm showing a timeslot on Thursday between 1 and 3. That's the soonest we could get anyone out there. And after they fix everything, just call us back so we can adjust your bill for the inconvenience." About that time my neighbor got home, and I asked her to see if her cable was working. She said she just had cable internet installed the day before, went to check, and then said it was working just fine. She was like, "You can hang out here and watch TV if you want... or... hang out with your.. um.. other neighbors. Hehe." I thanked her for the offer, but thought I could survive until Thursday afternoon.

Well... at 2:55 the cable guy finally shows. He checks a few wires.. and then discovers that my cable line was cut/disconnected at the pole. I told him about my neighbor having internet installed a couple days prior. He said they contract that work out.. and what probably happened is the guy didn't want to fool with disconnecting an older/nonfunctioning connection.. and simply cut my line and used that connection instead. Yeah.. nice, eh? He said, "He lives just down the street. And if that's what he did.. then he'll have to pay us back three times what he got paid for the job."

Finally.. some retribution... even if not directly for me. At least my cable is working again. So today I called the billing center to see what kinda grace they may bestow for my inconvenience and frustration. And you know what they said?!? "Okay, joo report problem on Wednesday. We feeexed on Tursday. So.. we credit joo two days sir. Seven dollars fourteen ceeents. Is dat all for joo sir?" I really think they *want* a piece of me. I was like, "NO. No, that's not okay. I want to talk to the head of customer service or your supervisor." Then Abdul gets on.. and he's like, "Well sir.. dat all we can do. I go ahead and credit joo back dee 35 dollar service charge too since it was our fault. Okay? So you no have to pay service charge for technician." WHAT THE HELL?

I don't mean to sound so livid over something so... petty really. But it pisses the hell out of me when the sole cable provider in town has you at their mercy.. and all I *can* do is throw a bitch fit until someone decides to take some action. I'm going back to their local office tomorrow and see what they can do. When it took them 4 days and 2 no shows to get my cable hooked up here, they gave me free HBO for 6 months. But I don't want HBO... I want their money. I think they can at least credit me back half this month's bill. Half.. that's all I'm asking for. If I'd been working this week, I would have missed half a day of work.. plus two days without internet and TV... all because some jackass was too lazy to unhook a cable... and they're just offering me a $7 credit? Ridiculous.

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